It has always been one of my hobbies to make up stories and see if I can get people to believe them. Not to get out of trouble, or to make people think I am cool or something, just for the fun of it. But this is one my greatest whoppers, and I thought you guys would enjoy this. Try and get all your friends to believe it, then please tell me if it was successful with anyone.
P.S. This is exactly how I explained it to my friend, who did not believe me but was impressed by how well everything fit together. I didn't expect many people to actually believe this, but it does screw with your mind!
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I learned how to levitate!
It is a completely mental ability and, seeing as I am completely mental, I pulled it off quite nicely.
Want to hear how it works?
OK... I am going to use real world examples.
Have you noticed when you are depressed or have a lot of thoughts running through your mind, you are always tired and sort of
heavy (for lack of a better description)? And have you noticed that when you are feeling carefree or just plain happy, you feel like you might float away?
That is because thoughts are heavy.
Well, not exactly. Heavy is the easiest way to explain it, but it is more of a ballast, controlling how much gravity affects you - sort of like how a fishes swim bladder controls how water pressure around it affects how shallow or deep it swims. I have learned to master this to such an extent that I can literally float several inches above the ground. But the only to negate gravity altogether is to literally think of nothing.
This is a human's first major problem to overcome. A human mind is not structured in such a way as to not think of anything. It is always at work. You may have noticed that if one tries to think of nothing, one ends up
thinking about thinking about nothing.
Fortunately, I have come up with a solution. Humming. Yes, that is right. The simple tool we use to distract or entertain ourselves can actually be used to raise our bodies off of the ground. More precisely, vibrating a certain pitch through our minds in such an efficient way that, as of our current state of technological status, only humming can do it. There is no technology or other means available at this time to do it quite so efficiently. At the correct pitch, humming can nullify all conscious thoughts. But, seeing as this takes several hours in most cases, you can see that this is a human’s second major problem to overcome.
I have done some research however, and quite unexpectedly stumbled upon some monks in ancient England who perform a type of meditation called “Circular Breathing,” (it is real - google it) or breathing and humming at the same time. I was lucky enough to find a list of monasteries who still perform this type of meditation, and went there for a few months to learn the practice myself. I finally mastered it, and came home to finally test my theories. I had my brother sit quietly in the room to tell me if it worked when I finally stopped, because I knew once I had kept up the hum for an hour or so, I would start to enter a trance-like subconscious state. It took all day and four tries, but, according to my brother, I finally pulled it off! I am still working on perfecting it more, though.
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